I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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