matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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