oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize