he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
