Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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