Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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