he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
