GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
is wine microwaveable?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
