Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
