i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
