I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
