You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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