Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
tell me about the eggs
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
