whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
