I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
