I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
