I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
