Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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