dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
