How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
