And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
