This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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