This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
