someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
