Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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