just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
