Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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