I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize