so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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