i jhust puked up my retainher.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
