It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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