I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
