Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
