Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I would fuck him just for his dog
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
