im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
