he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
