No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
