white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i out mim tonsoeep
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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