Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You ate ashes out of my bong
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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