i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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