I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize