Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
