don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Randomize
