covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
