What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
