It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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