Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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