can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
