i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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