my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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