I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize