the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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