I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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