If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
