you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize