We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
how does that bad decision feel?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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