i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
