There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
