just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
