I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I think my moral compass just broke
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
