Whod you bang
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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