it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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