I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
