in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
