I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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