Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
