well you can't waste a boner
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
