Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
