My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
