For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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