No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We need to get me chipped asap
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
