do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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