i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
