Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
