i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
