Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
His hands were made for my vagina.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
