Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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