so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
