You're so nebulous sometimes
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
